39 of Our Favorite Lorelai Gilmore Quotes

Lorelai is great.

“Hey, I have a New Year’s Resolution for you: Become more cynical and self-absorbed.”
– Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 2: The Bracebridge Dinner

“You weren’t wearing your ‘hot and wealthy’ sandwich board were you, Mom?”
– Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: A Messenger, Nothing More

“You can’t watch Willy Wonka without massive amounts of junk food.”
– Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: Kiss and Tell

“If you’re going to throw your life away, he’d better have a motorcycle.”
– Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls

“My mother is fast asleep in my bed, clutching my Hello Kitty pillow, and yes, I have pictures.”
-Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Wedding Bell Blues

“Oh yes, it was beautiful in there. We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something.”
– Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: Christopher Returns

“So not only did you go to a cop-raided party, but you started the raid? [Then she proceeds to sing, ‘Did You Ever Know That You’re My Hero?]”
– Lorelai Gimore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: Say Goodnight, Gracie

“I need caffeine. Whatever form you’ve got, I haven’t had any all day. I’ll drink it, shoot it, eat it, snort it, whatever form it’s in, gimme.”
– Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Women Of Questionable Morals

“Cheeseburger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I’m looking for heroes.”
– Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 4: An Affair to Remember

“I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it.”
– Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: Rory’s Birthday Parties